This is a normal feeling, even if the end was your choice. After being part of a couple it can feel very daunting facing the world as a single person. You have a change of identity at this point and lots of things will be different for you and this is hard to navigate. We can really explore where you want to be and how to get there. You will possibly have no idea what the future looks like or maybe you do and don’t like how it looks. But we can work through it all slowly searching for you and find your happiness again.

Many things can layer up and then suddenly everything feels overwhelming. Your usual coping strategies are not working and maybe your support network isn’t enough. You can feel anxious and even a little depressed and withdrawn. We can look at the reasons for the overwhelm but also at why it has occurred at this time. We can look at your coping strategies and possibly amend them to help at this time while we look at the root cause of the overwhelm. The main thing is that you have recognised what is going on and seeking help.

This is a common feeling in a lot of people, which leads to anxiety and sometimes depression. We can talk through where this started, whether this has always been the way you have felt which might mean looking at your childhood. We can look at challenging the thoughts about not being good enough by looking for evidence in the things you tell yourself. We can look at why you don’t feel good enough, by looking at your past and what you were told or being told. We can then start to reverse the negative thinking, challenging these thoughts to more positive ones.

Overthinking is such a common issue with many people. We would need to see where the overthinking started, as it has quite often started a while ago as a way of avoiding feeling anxious.

Let me give you an example of a situation where overthinking can take place and cause unnecessary anxiety. Perhaps you might feel you have to make sure to get to a party early so that you are not entering the room when everyone is already there and will stare and judge you. This strategy will serve you well to avoid that stress, but then you will start the chain of thoughts with, what if you have something happen and I will be late, that would be awful, they will all stare, they will be thinking my outfit is horrible and my hair looks a mess, this is the overthinking starting and therefore the anxiety.

This is just a small example but it is how overthinking can cause anxiety about a situation before it happens. We will look at where your overthinking started and explore this further. We will put some strategies in place to help the anxiety whilst challenging the negative thought patterns.

So many people feel like this. The lack of boundaries in place can make you feel overwhelmed and under pressure. Feeling guilty about taking care of your needs is often a result.

We would maybe look at why you are not able put in boundaries and say no and perhaps what that says about your feelings about your worth. The work we do would be on you and your needs and recognising your worth, making you like yourself enough to allow you to have your needs met without guilt.

Yes, I’ll be honest it can and you will be doing most of the work. But you are your chosen subject and you know yourself and your inner self like no-one else can, so not so hard really, you just have to be honest with yourself and perhaps me so that we can move you forward!

But Counselling is also the best thing you might do to help you to find your happy! If you are here you have already taken the first step of admitting that there might be a problem, that’s a great start!